Hi all

This post is from journal entry Sept 1.

I was praying that I didn't want to give up my heart and my dreams, wondering if God sees me, individually, me.  My mind was heading to that place, you know the, "God doesn't really worry about my insignificant (in the grand scheme of the universe and His big plan for the world) life and issues" place.  I imagine we all go there, but I seem to do it a lot.  My heart was becoming so heavy, thinking about giving up its needs, and desires, I just wanted to weep and never stop.   Well I've been reading a little book put out by Turning Point Ministries called, "The Focused Life."  Basically, its just praying through the Psalms and Proverbs on a daily basis.  In today's reading was Ps. 11 and Ps. 13.

As I read through Ps. 11, verse 4 jumped out at me:

But the Lord is in His holy Temple; the Lord still rules from heaven.  HE WATCHES EVERYONE CLOSELY, EXAMINING EVERY PERSON on earth.  

Wow, God does take notice of me.  It really couldn't be said any clearer. Struggling daily with sorry and anguish, feeling forgotten seems to be the norm for me these days.  Psalm 13 expressed my heart perfectly.  I then I came to verse 6.

But I trust in Your unfailing love.  I will rejoice because you have rescued me.  I will sing to the Lord because He is good to me.  

The Lord reminded me that He does see me (El Roi-the God who sees me), He is good and His love for me is unfailing.  And through this journaling I see, I realize and am becoming more aware that I truly am not forgotten.  Life still hurts, but I know God is watching and involved and righ by my side--at least I am starting to see that.

As I continued the reading for today (I am now in Proverbs 3) I am seeing a God who is personal, one who is interested in me as an individual as well as His "big picture" plans for the universe.

Thank You Lord, that through this you are making this more real and more clear to me.  Please help me to share this with others that they too may start to look around in their own lives for Your visits.  Remind us of Your forever care and love.