This is getting to be a regular thing, this radio playing just the right song at the right time...this God reaching through the airwaves to bring me exactly what He knows I need, speaking to me in music, sharing His comfort and building up my faith. I am glad He does not give up or get tired of doing this!
Thursday morning. I take out the computer so I can add to this blog all the great visits from our loving Father. And of course, as is sooooo typical to life, the computer does not want to come on!! The windows screen comes up, all fuzzy and funky looking. I of course do the thing "they" (where do I get a job being the "they") tell you to do, "take the battery out." Doesn't matter if it's the cell phone or the computer, the tv or the dvd player, it's always take the battery out or unplug it!!
And so out came the battery, then back in and now the screen is just black!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!! Out goes yesterdays lessons on trust...at least for the moment. Wonderfully though, those moments are a lot shorter than they used to be...and to me that is PROGRESS!!!
So I say some quick prayers, and decide to go about my day, phone calls (computer repair, of course), house cleaning, lunch making....off to the computer store and then on to work. I get into the car and (yes here we go again with the radio) the song that comes on is
Ok, that was pretty amazing. Could the Lord spell it out any clearer?? TRUST TRUST TRUST. Are we seeing a theme here? God just says, trust. Relax and trust. Lord, why is this so difficult? Why does my first reaction have to be fretting and fussing and fear? I want my first and only reaction to be faith. Lord, help me in this area. I want to grow and learn and become. Thank You, as always for Your patience and Your comfort.
And the computer? Well, I got to the repair store and it of course, came on just fine...the repair tech said perhaps it was stuck in an upgrade....I say perhaps I just needed to trust...either way, it cost me nothing and as you can see it's working just fine!! Thanks Father!!
I leave you with 2 more songs that I heard yesterday (and I only do so, because as I got into the car yesterday, I thought to myself I would love to hear these 2 particular songs and amazingly enough they actually came on the radio...what a blessing, a beautiful gift from my Father!!) I hope you enjoy them.
Ok, fast forward to lunch time. Same night. Still battling, but trying to hold onto the joy and comfort of my break time visit with God. I put on the radio and the song "Oceans" is on!! I then proceed to take out the little devotional I've been working on and the big bold word on the top of the page in pretty script writing with the cute little flower next to it...
T R U S T
The saying under it says, "Worry quickly sucks the joy out of the abundant life Jesus wants me to have. What worries most trouble me today? How could I give them to my Savior and receive in exchange His forgiveness and peace?" I love the line in this song where it says, "Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders.." What an absolute beautiful place to be. I can barely imagine a life where my trust in God is without borders. Frightening and thrilling and wonderful all rolled into one!
The Scripture verse included in this section of the devotional was Matt 6:25 Do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?
I then went onto read "One Thousand Gifts" and I didn't even get through 1 1/2 pages during the whole of lunch! I got so "stuck" on what was said, what I read that I had to camp out on this short section and am still hanging out there 2 days later.
John 6:29 (from the Amplified) "Jesus replied, 'This is the work (service) that God asks of you: that you believe in the One Whom He has sent [that you cleave to, TRUST, rely on, and have faith in His Messenger]" And I am going to quote directly from the book here, because this struck such a chord in me and I really don't want anyone to miss this trust thing by my omission of anything.
from Ann Voskamp: "That's my daily work, the work God asks of me? To trust. The work I shirk. To trust in the Son, to trust in the wisdom of this moment, to trust in the now. And trust is that: work. The work of trusting love. Intentional and focused. Stress and anxiety seem easier. Easier to let a mind run wild with the worry than to exercise discipline, to reign her in, slip the blinders on and train her to walk steady in certain assurance, not spooked by the specters looming ahead. Are stress and worry evidences of a soul to lazy, too undisciplined to keep gaze fixed on God? To stay in love?...Without trust in the good news of Jesus, without trust in the good news of God's saving work even in this moment, without an active, moment -by-moment trust in the good news of an all-sovereign, all-good God, how can we claim to fully believe. This is the trust I lack; to know that if disaster strikes, He carries me even there. Trust in the wholeness of the gospel--including this moment, good news too--and be saved, Choose stress, worry , anxiety, reject what God has given now, which is good new too--refuse to trust and be condemned....If authentic, saving belief is the act of trusting, then to choose stress is and act of disbelief...atheism"
Wow. A lot to think about, this trust thing and how far it is to take me. How far I am to go in it. Trust without borders. Isn't that what God desires, demands, deserves? And not just for salvation, but for the day in day out, daily grind, daily demands, the hard, and the easy, the joyful and the downward? Isn't it all in His hand and therefore I am safe? I am loved?
I am not sure, no I am sure I cannot do this. Not without God, completely and utterly changing me. Lord, I want this kind of trust. The one where the $700 car bill doesn't cause me to blink, let alone melt down. The kind of trust where when all is insanity and difficulty at work I can maintain my focus on You and share Your peace with those around me. And I am grateful Lord, for progress, however small it seems to me, the fact that You are working in this area, that I am learning and willing is the start of that change. Lord.....help!!
Ok, so it's been one of those weeks.....my emotions have gone from mildly irritated and peevish to outright angry and bitter. In between depression and hopelessness have made many an appearance! The turmoil inside has been horrible, and of course the feeling of failure as a Christian and as "light in the darkness" is pervasive and overwhelming. Last Saturday started with an expensive car repair that I can ill afford, and the week at work has been hectic and physically tiring and painful. So you can see where all this is heading....MELTDOWN!!
So I sat in my car at break time on Wens. Once again, my Christian witness was not anything to be proud of. I cried out to the Lord, "will it ever change, I'm such a flop at this!" Turned on the radio and Overcomer by Mandisa was on!! The words in this song brought such comfort. Our God is so good. I am so thankful, that He doesn't look at me as a failure. He sees past the "me" to the "what I will be". He sees the me in Jesus, the one He is making into a masterpiece, not the one who falls apart and falls down.
That was God's ray of hope to me. And I hope that He uses this song and this blog to let someone know that they too do not have to give up hope, because we are overcomers. It may not take the shape we think it should, or look like we want it to, but that is the story of our life in Christ...OVERCOMER. God knows what the fact looks like on and in us. And that leads me to the next blog entry of Trust.
Thank You Lord, that You have made us overcomers!!
God visits with His correction. NOT something we always like. We want the encouraging warm and fuzzy pats on the head. Well that ain't happening here!!
I confess, I have a critical and judgmental nature. I've known this a long time, and have confessed and prayed and tried and cried about it many a time. And God has brought it up to me once, no, twice again this week. My reading for church on Sunday was.....yes you guessed it on judging...ugh!!
Matthew 7:1-5 Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. (scary!!!) Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite (just what we all want to hear Jesus say to us), first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.
Then yesterdays devotional reading from "My Utmost for His Highest" was, yes once again I'm sure you guessed it, on judging!! It was entitled, "The Uncritical Temper." And the verse it was based on.....hmmmmm, lets guess again...Matt 7:1 Judge not, that ye be not judged. Oswald Chambers went on to say, "Criticism is a part of the ordinary faculty of man; but in the spiritual domain nothing is accomplished by criticism." He also said, "It is impossible to enter into communion with God when you are in a critical temper; it makes you hard and vindictive and cruel, and leaves you with the flattering unction that you are a superior person." Well, that ranks right up there with hypocrite as a oh so complimentary description of a person, right? LOL
Ok, so now, you may think I would be feeling pretty low with all this correction coming my way from the Lord. But no. I do not. I am a sinner, and I confess my sins. But I am also a daughter and my Father knows all about me and loves and forgives me. So I am a grateful child. The Bible tells me that discipline and correction prove I am His child. And it's so funny, because the God visit continues, not only did I receive correction, I received comfort from the Joyce Meyer podcast today in that she was speaking about this very idea. God corrected, then God reassured and comforted. Our God is an awesome God!!
Hebrews 12:5-7, 10-11 And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons: "My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lost heart when He rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those He loves, and he punishes everyone He accepts as a son." endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father?...Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in His holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
So I am thankful. And I move forward. And I continue in prayer and continue to work with the Holy Spirit to remove this propensity to sin from my character. And
another verse from my reading on Sunday? Matt 7:7-8 Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks the door will be opened. I know that God will change this seemingly fixed habit in my life. I know He will deliver.
Lord, I submit to You in this area. And I ask for Your forgiveness. I am thankful that You are so loving to bring correction, so kind to forgive and so patient to continue on with me even when I fail at the same things so often. Please take this flaw from my heart and replace it with a spirit of love and mercy that will glorify You.
Mom had her journal somewhat alphabetized, so from Armor of God, we go onto Assurance. My Mom was resting on these assurances of God, and obviously since she took the time to journal about them they meant a lot to her. Perhaps she knew, that we all need to be reassured sometimes and that is why she shared them in her notebook, her last will and testament. She desired them to be an encouragement and comfort to others, as they were to her.
1 John 5:1-13 Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ is born of God, and everyone who loves the father loves his child as well. This is how we know that we love the children of God: by loving God and carrying out His commands. This is love for God: to obey His commands. And His commands are not burdensome, for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith. Who is it that overcomes the world? Only he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God. This is the one who came by water and blood--Jesus Christ. he did not come by water only, but by water and blood. And it is the Spirit who testifies, because the Spirit is the truth. For there are three that testify: The Spirit, the water, and the blood; and the three are in agreement. We accept man's testimony, but God's testimony is greater because it is the testimony of God, which He has given about His Son. Anyone who believes in the Son of God has this testimony in his heart. Anyone who does not believe God has made Him out to be a liar, because He has not believed the testimony God has given about His Son. And this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in His Son. He who has the Son has life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have life.
vs 13- These things have been written that you may know you have eternal life....(this is how it is put in the NKJV)
Be assured this book was written by the apostle John, so we are encouraged to know that there is certainty of eternal life for believers who have a relationship with God, the Father.
Because God is our constant companion, we can trust that He is faithful.
Hebrews 13:5 ....God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.
From me:
These are the promises Mom relied on. And now she is reaping the reward of her faith. These promises, this promise of eternal life and of God's constant companionship are to His children, those who believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, as the one and only Son, the one who died to cleanse us from our sins, and who rose again on the third day, that we may follow Him into eternal life, eternal peace and joy, His awesome presence being our existence and eternal pleasure. If you do not know Him, but would like to, if you desire the peace and assurance that comes with these promises, it can be yours...Just as the Bible tells us, all who come to Jesus will be saved. I don't know about you, but I have done a lot of things wrong in my life, still do. I need a Savior. And that Savior, the only Savior, is Jesus Christ.
Romans 3: 23-24 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by His grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.
Romans 10:9 That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.
John 3:16 For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.
John 6:37 All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away.
Revelation 3:20 Her I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with Me.
I pray now, that you who don't know this wonderful Savior, will pray. Let God know that you realize your sinfulness, your need of a Savior, (we all are and do), and that you want Him to be the Savior and Lord of your life. Invite Him into your heart. This doesn't guarantee an easy, trouble free life here on this earth, but does guarantee a constant companion to walk with you through whatever happens on journey called life, and it does guarantee a place in Heaven...and that is eternal.
John 5:24 "Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever hears my word and believes Him who sent me has eternal life."
In doing one of my devotionals today, the title being Believe, the question put to me the reader was: "I read Jesus; words, and the truth grips me. I have eternal life right now! It's mine as His gift to me as I hear and believe His Word. How does this change everything mundane to magnificent?"
Now that is awesome. And eternal LIFE...living, breathing, joy, peace abundance...is an absolutely awesome and amazing concept, especially in the light of spending that eternal life with the Lord...but does it make the mundane magnificent? Well I have to disagree a bit there. Being stuck in traffic or doing the laundry does not become magnificent just because I have eternal life. Can I learn to do those things (still a work in progress for me!!) with a good attitude, with peace and joyfulness? YES!! Do mundane chores become more important in the light of eternal life? No, I don't think so. I believe they become more important in the light of how and why we do them. And this is God's first visit of my day...to teach me once again how to take the mundane of the day and turn it into an act of love and worship for Him.
Anything I do, from mopping the floor, to cleaning cages at the shelter, to speaking on behalf of the persecuted church, everything I do, when done for Him, unto Him, and as from Him becomes a magnificent act because of who it is done for. It blesses and honors the Father when I do whatever task it is with a good attitude and the desire to honor Him through whatever I am doing. When I do this I allow the light of Jesus to shine through.
Lord, I wish I could remember to see everything in this way, that everything is just one more avenue in which You can be glorified. Maybe that's what makes anything magnificent. Help me, remind me often and consistently....I need it. I want to honor You. In Your holy and precious Name Jesus. AMEN.
One thing after the other. One expense added on top of another. What I think are blessings, turn into not so much. And so, the downward spiral begins. What's wrong with me? God are you mad at me? God do you hate me? Am I being punished, living out the consequences of poor choices, never to escape them? I must be doing everything wrong, because it feels like everything goes wrong. Why God why? Where are You? Do You care? Do You see?
That was the story the last couple of weeks, and it hit the pinnacle on Sunday night when the a/c decided it didn't want to work, much like many other items that take up their existence in my life. Couple that with an especially trying period at work, and my failure to cope with that...and you can see where all this is headed. On the positive side, I did come out of this tailspin much more quickly than previous ones so I believe that is progress and I am thankful for that.
So I got up yesterday after a night of very little sleep, still hurting, still discouraged and distraught. My mind raced all night, oppression and hopelessness having a field day in there as I tried to get some much needed zzzzzzzs. Oh, and remember that little thing about the a/c....well it was also very muggy and warm, not conducive to a good nights sleep at all.
But something happened as the morning progressed, and the day moved on...I started to trust more. I started to just rest in God. I was feeling a bit better but still unsure. I get into my car, still needed to be reassured of God's love and of course turn once again, this loving Father of ours knew exactly the right song to put on at exactly that time. He has used "More" in the past, usually when I am at a extremely low point and this time was no exception.
It gets better though. On my breaks and lunch I have been working on a couple of little devotions given out on Mother's Day by my church. And today's theme was "Promises." The question was: "Which three promises from my Savior mean most to me? How do they make my life much more abundant than it would be otherwise?" This question forced me to focus on God's promises to me. Ones that He gave me over the years personally. I needed a reminder. BIG TIME !!!
Now, I kind of think that the promises that mean the most can be fluid. What I am saying is, that depending on what one is going through, what circumstances and trials are abounding in one's life, will dictate what promise means the most at that time. So as I looked through my index cards written over the years, and 3 stood out for me.
Hebrews 10:21-23 And since we have a Great High Priest who rules over God's house, let us go right into the presence of God, with sincere hearts, fully trusting Him. For our guilty consciences have been sprinkled with Christ's blood to make us clean, and our bodies have been washed with pure water. Let us hold tightly without wavering, to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep His promise.
BAM! Knock out the guilt and self condemnation. It's not about me. It's about Jesus! It's not about what I did, or do, but about His promise of purification and that I can come right into His presence and be welcomed. God wants me around!
Jeremiah 1:4-5 The Lord said to me, "I knew you before you were formed within your Mother's womb; before you were born I sanctified you as my spokesman to the world.
YEAH!! God knew me, knew all about me, and still calls me sanctified, still has a plan to use me for His purposes. It's God Himself that does the knowing, the calling, the sanctifying and the planning.
Colossians 1:22-23a But now He has reconciled you by Christ's physical body through death to present you holy in His sight, without blemish and free from accusation--if you continue in your faith, established and firm, not moved from the hope held out in the Gospel.
BELIEVE!!! I am reconciled, I am holy and blemish free. The accusations that come into my mind, are to fall flat, to be rejected outright. I must hold fast to the promises and the work of Christ. Seeing a pattern here....it's about JESUS
God is not rejecting me. And this is about Him, not about me. Something He told me a couple of years ago, that really touched me, that was a revelation to my very soul was that when He said "This is my beloved Son, in Him I am well pleased", He was seeing me as well. God loves me. He is not against me. He is not out to get me. Satan's attempts to come between us by orchestrating the circumstances in my life need to be put in perspective and not seen as some sort of penalty for being human. Oh Lord, why is this so hard to remember, why is it so hard to believe.
Lord, help me. I need to stand firm in my faith. To trust You, even when my life seems a mess, and everything is going wrong. You are faithful. You are loving. I may not understand. It may hurt. But help me to trust and believe. It's so hard when things are not working. Remind me again and again of Your love. And thank you, that it didn't take me a week of moping before I got to this place of trust and rest. You are faithful. And I am growing because of You.
Work. That little place in my day that is my greatest challenge and hardest battle ground. And boy, do I feel like I am fighting a losing battle most days!! It breaks my heart, which so much wants to be a light for the Lord, that more often than not I fail so miserably in that. I feel I become part of the darkness around me, speaking words that harm or build the enemies kingdom, emotions in turmoil and my witness laying in ruins. My lack of peace that passes understanding is evident, instead of being salt and light, I think and act more like poison and blackness. Perhaps I am overstating all this, but with the new changes at my workplace, my coping skills are being sorely tested and the Christ-likeness I desire to portray is clouded by anxiety and pride. My heart so desires to share Christ, not just in word but by the way I live; it so wants to display His love to those around me and glorify Him in all things. It is terribly frustrating when I fail so completely on an almost daily basis.
All that being said, God is faithful. And for that I can rejoice and be glad. As I sat at on break 2 nights ago, big and beautiful in front of me was His rainbow! Now, I don't know about anyone else, but I take those rainbows as personal signs that God is with me, is still on my side and is watching over me. And boy did I need to see that bow.
Genesis 9:16-17 "The rainbow shall be in the cloud, and I will look on it to remember the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature of all flesh that is on the earth" And Godsaid to Noah, "This is the sign of the covenant which I have established between Meand all flesh that is on the earth."
Now, I have to wonder, who God is reminding...me or Himself....perhaps He needs to remind Himself when I am giving Him a particularly difficult time that day! LOL Maybe a little of both, ya think??!!
Lord, thank You. Thank You that You remember that we are dust and that Your love to me is unending, You patience beyond what I can measure. I am so desperate for both. Please, Lord, see my heart, which is toward You and help me live out of the Spirit You have placed in side of me. Glorify Your name and lead many to Yourself.
And on top of the rainbow, the Lord painted another stunning sunset!!
Lately I feel God focusing more and more on the way I am looking at things. And asking me to share that focus with Him.
Luke 11:34 The lamp of the body is the eye. Therefore, when your eye is good, your whole body also is full of light. But when your eye is bad, your body also is full of darkness.
I've read that Scripture dozens of times over the years. Never really absorbing it's full meaning (and I am sure there is a lot still left for me to absorb). But I am realizing more and more how I look at things, the way my mind perceives the events and circumstances of my day is what determines my attitude and my actions, and especially my words. If I am looking at any given moment, whether it is going smoothly or is seemingly another irritating interruption, if I turn my eyes heavenward my perception of that moment will change.
Romans 8:28 And we know that ALL things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.
How often have we heard that verse? How often quoted it ourselves and others? How often do we actually live it out as truth? Hmmmmm, there's the kicker, huh?
I read a quote last night in "One Thousand Gifts." It went like this: "You would be very ashamed if you knew what the experiences you call setbacks, upheavals, pointless disturbances, and tedious annoyances really are.You would realize that your complaints about them are nothing more nor less than blasphemies--though that never occurs to you. Nothing happens to you except by the will of God, and yet (God's) beloved children curse it because they do not know it for what it is." Jean-Pierre de Caussade, as quoted in A Guide to Prayer for All God's People.
That is a very thought provoking, heart probing idea. If I truly believe God works ALL things for good, if I really wanted to live that out, and I actually walked as if I trusted His doings in my life, would I not be filled with joy and peace at all times instead of just fleetingly scarce moments of contentment? And that brings it back to the way I am looking at the minutes and moments, the circumstances and happenings of my day. Is my eye dark? Is my perception of events darkening my light?
Luke 11:35-36 Therefore take heed that the light which is in you is not darkness. If then your whole body is full of light, having no part in dark, the whole body will be full of light, as when the bright shining of a lamp gives you light.
And lights were meant to shine. I am meant to shine. Jesus is meant to shine through me. If I am filled with the dark, then I do not fulfill my purpose, God's purpose for me.
Romans 8:29 For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren.
Can you imagine Jesus walking around like we do?!!!? "Oh, darn, another problem, another interruption. Don't people see I am trying to feed 5000 people here, I can't stop to teach, I can't stop to talk. Oh, my sandal broke, now what. Father why did you let it break now? I have to get to that next village...You mean I have to mediate between these guys again, why don't they just get it already...the first shall be last....I have other things to take care of now....." LOL
In the book, Ann V was mediating a skirmish between 2 of her children when she processed and practiced this looking up. One of them had done something to make her so angry, but in that few moments she was able to change her perspective by they way she looked at the situation. She was able to lay down her anger and pick up the mantle of thanksgiving. She said to herself: "what compels me to name these moment upheavals and annoyances instead of grace and gift? Why derive myself of joy's oxygen?" I don't believe we will enjoy every moment that comes into our lives. Hard job situations, no job situations, sick parents, fighting children, lost children...the list goes on and on, are not going to make us happy. But by looking at them as a gift of God, something in which He can and will make beauty out of can fill us with peace and trust. If everything in my life is from or allowed by my Father, then everything is or has the potential for good in it. Walk in Romans 8:28 and fulfill Romans 8:29.
This has been a long and ongoing God visit for me. I still have a lot of work to do in this area. As always, I am a slow learner and I am ever grateful for my Father's patience.
From 31 Days of Praise by Ruth Warren:
"Father, I am so delighted that you are both loving and sovereign, and that You cause all things to work together for good to those who love You, to those who are called according to Your purpose. So I thank You for each disturbing or humbling situation in my life, for each breaking or cleansing process You are allowing, for each problem or hindrance, for each thing that triggers in me anxiety or anger or pain. And I thank You in advance for each disappointment, each demanding duty, each pressure, each interruption that may arise in the coming hours and days. In spite of what I think or feel when I get my eyes off You, I choose not to resist my trials as intruders, but to welcome them as friends..... I rejoice that You plan to enrich and beautify me through each problem, each conflict, each struggle...I'm grateful that You look beyond my superficial desire for a trouble-free life; instead You fulfill my deep-down desire to glorify You, enjoy Your warm fellowship, and become more like Your Son"
"I thank you for the bitter things
They've been a friend to grace,
They've driven me from the paths
of ease.
To storm the secret place."
----Florence White Willett
Thank You Lord, for this new lesson, this new and ongoing visit. Help me to see. I want to see the fullness of You in every moment. To see You hand in each circumstance. I know I will not always understand, but let my light be powered by faith in You. Shine through me Jesus.
