Rushing, complaining.....
Saturday morning. Grocery shopping, 2 stores, the bank, come home, put away the groceries....about a thousand bags !! (and yes I am grateful for a full frig). Do this chore, that chore, hop in the shower....gotta meet some dear sisters for some much needed, much desired girl time.
But oh, the rushing and complaining....and I was. And not just Saturday, but Sunday, and then again on Monday.....UGH !!!!! I always feel like I am in a rush these days. Remember that post from a few days back, where I said that getting in the car and putting on the radio was like having little God visits all day? Well once again, this was the case. God is so good.
I jumped in the car, rushing (there's that word again !!!) to get to my next thing and flipped on the radio, aaaahhhh....the words and melody of godly music just soothed my spirit. Days of Elijah was the first song I heard that Saturday morning, and it was so uplifting. The panic of the morning's rush ceased and I was lifted to praise. And then the next song, and the next. Each morning bringing peacefulness to the moment. I am so grateful for this gift of Christian radio and the music it brings to my day.
Thank You Lord for the little islands of peace in my day, the little visits of worship and time to refocus my mind and heart on You.
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
Friday, April 25, 2014
Oceans (Where Feet May Fail) - Hillsong United - with Lyrics
I just love this song. I am hoping that someone needs to hear it tonight, to be touched by the Lord's hand. What an awesome God we have.
Thursday, April 24, 2014
Failure
Another night, another failure, another day I lost my temper, another volcanic mouth spouting episode. Why is it so hard to overcome my pride and self-righteous anger?
I know things are unfair at work, but that is no excuse for me to act out. No excuse to loose my temper, speak unkindly and complain to anyone who will listen. There are right ways to handle the inequity that arises, even if it means all I can do is give it over to You Lord.
But once again, my loving, heavenly Father, after He brought correction, brought comfort and hope. First He lead me to some verses in Ephesians that I need to commit to memory and to heart. Lord help me to wrap them in my mind and enclose them in my heart so that they may move and direct my behavior like a hand moves and directs a glove.
Eph. 5:4 Nor should there be any obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.
v20: always giving thanks to God the Father for EVERYTHING, in the name of our Lord, Jesus Christ.
Eph 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to THEIR needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
v32: Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Just noticed that it's THEIR needs I am to be focusing on. Not my own. You know how on some Bible verses you may read them 1000 times, but then just notice that one little sparkling jewel on the 1001 reading? Well that is what just happened to me here....THEIR needs, hmmmm, I believe I will be spending some time pondering that. A God visit withing a God visit....very cool !!
Ok, so back on track here. God brought all this conviction to me. And He made me realize once again how my pride was involved. But even more so this time. I always say, "Lord, I just want to be a good witness, do nothing that brings shame to the Christian name." But as I was writing this prayer in my journal, God shined a little more light in those dark places of my heart. And even this simple prayer of mine was partially based in pride. That was so hurtful to hear. But so helpful as well. I want MY witness to shine. MY witness to be perfect. Notice where the emphasis was. Ouch!! It really was more about me than God. Oh my. That is not something I was expecting to be confronted with this morning. This brutal honesty is killing me here !!
But our compassionate God did not just leave me there, dangling on the cliff of conviction ready to jump. He came in and scooped me up in His arms of soft, tender mercies. We go back to our awesome little book, "31 Days of Praise", day 24. And this is the part of the 1st paragraph (this totally blew me away!):
"Thank You, my loving and sovereign God, that my failures and mistakes are part of the 'all things' You work together for good...as well as my tensions and stresses, my hostile and anxious feelings, my regrets, my trips into shame and self-blame--and the specific things that trigger them. I praise You that 'all things,' including these, can contribute to my spiritual growth and my experience of You..."
AMAZING. God is AMAZING! Can you believe how He went right to the heart of the matter not only in conviction, but then orchestrated the comfort and hope as well? Even my failures, even my repeated failures, will bring His purpose to completion. Lord, let even my failures bring You glory, bring honor to Your name. I know I cannot overcome the prideful tendencies of my heart on my own. But through Your power, Your strength, Your will.....Thank You even in these failures. Thank You for them, for what brings them about, and thank You that You will work even the worst and darkest leanings of my heart to good and glory.
Another night, another failure, another day I lost my temper, another volcanic mouth spouting episode. Why is it so hard to overcome my pride and self-righteous anger?
I know things are unfair at work, but that is no excuse for me to act out. No excuse to loose my temper, speak unkindly and complain to anyone who will listen. There are right ways to handle the inequity that arises, even if it means all I can do is give it over to You Lord.
But once again, my loving, heavenly Father, after He brought correction, brought comfort and hope. First He lead me to some verses in Ephesians that I need to commit to memory and to heart. Lord help me to wrap them in my mind and enclose them in my heart so that they may move and direct my behavior like a hand moves and directs a glove.
Eph. 5:4 Nor should there be any obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.
v20: always giving thanks to God the Father for EVERYTHING, in the name of our Lord, Jesus Christ.
Eph 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to THEIR needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
v32: Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Just noticed that it's THEIR needs I am to be focusing on. Not my own. You know how on some Bible verses you may read them 1000 times, but then just notice that one little sparkling jewel on the 1001 reading? Well that is what just happened to me here....THEIR needs, hmmmm, I believe I will be spending some time pondering that. A God visit withing a God visit....very cool !!
Ok, so back on track here. God brought all this conviction to me. And He made me realize once again how my pride was involved. But even more so this time. I always say, "Lord, I just want to be a good witness, do nothing that brings shame to the Christian name." But as I was writing this prayer in my journal, God shined a little more light in those dark places of my heart. And even this simple prayer of mine was partially based in pride. That was so hurtful to hear. But so helpful as well. I want MY witness to shine. MY witness to be perfect. Notice where the emphasis was. Ouch!! It really was more about me than God. Oh my. That is not something I was expecting to be confronted with this morning. This brutal honesty is killing me here !!
But our compassionate God did not just leave me there, dangling on the cliff of conviction ready to jump. He came in and scooped me up in His arms of soft, tender mercies. We go back to our awesome little book, "31 Days of Praise", day 24. And this is the part of the 1st paragraph (this totally blew me away!):
"Thank You, my loving and sovereign God, that my failures and mistakes are part of the 'all things' You work together for good...as well as my tensions and stresses, my hostile and anxious feelings, my regrets, my trips into shame and self-blame--and the specific things that trigger them. I praise You that 'all things,' including these, can contribute to my spiritual growth and my experience of You..."
AMAZING. God is AMAZING! Can you believe how He went right to the heart of the matter not only in conviction, but then orchestrated the comfort and hope as well? Even my failures, even my repeated failures, will bring His purpose to completion. Lord, let even my failures bring You glory, bring honor to Your name. I know I cannot overcome the prideful tendencies of my heart on my own. But through Your power, Your strength, Your will.....Thank You even in these failures. Thank You for them, for what brings them about, and thank You that You will work even the worst and darkest leanings of my heart to good and glory.
Wednesday, April 23, 2014
Easter
Good Friday service is always my favorite of the year. The meaning, the music, the remembering. And this year was no exception. Something that Ann Voskamp said in the book I am reading, "One Thousand Gifts" stuck with me. She wrote about how eucharisteo when broken down can be translated into grace, gratitiude and joy. And I have been reflecting on this during our communion table. And on Good Friday I meditated on that message throughout the day and into our service time. The grace shown to me by Jesus going to the cross to die in my stead is nothing short of amazing and wonderful. In that grace I stand and am forever grateful.
But this year, it was the Easter service that touched my heart so deeply. Perhaps it has to do with so recently losing my Mom and my Uncle. The reality of the resurrection was so much more touchable and substantive this year. You know how we know something is true, but because it is not discernible with our physical senses it becomes something intangible and abstract? Well I kind of feel that way about the resurrection and heaven. I know they are real, more real than any of the transient world we live in will ever be...but they certainly don't feel that way. Until this year. The music, the sermons, the prayers...they were all made more real in my heart this Happy Easter day. I believe God knew I needed the extra, the little bit deeper grasp of true resurrection. It was so comforting. It was such a blessing.
Thank You Lord for the Resurrection. We knew that because Jesus lives, so do we and so do those we love who have gone home before us. Make this more real, everyday, in our lives.
Good Friday service is always my favorite of the year. The meaning, the music, the remembering. And this year was no exception. Something that Ann Voskamp said in the book I am reading, "One Thousand Gifts" stuck with me. She wrote about how eucharisteo when broken down can be translated into grace, gratitiude and joy. And I have been reflecting on this during our communion table. And on Good Friday I meditated on that message throughout the day and into our service time. The grace shown to me by Jesus going to the cross to die in my stead is nothing short of amazing and wonderful. In that grace I stand and am forever grateful.
But this year, it was the Easter service that touched my heart so deeply. Perhaps it has to do with so recently losing my Mom and my Uncle. The reality of the resurrection was so much more touchable and substantive this year. You know how we know something is true, but because it is not discernible with our physical senses it becomes something intangible and abstract? Well I kind of feel that way about the resurrection and heaven. I know they are real, more real than any of the transient world we live in will ever be...but they certainly don't feel that way. Until this year. The music, the sermons, the prayers...they were all made more real in my heart this Happy Easter day. I believe God knew I needed the extra, the little bit deeper grasp of true resurrection. It was so comforting. It was such a blessing.
Thank You Lord for the Resurrection. We knew that because Jesus lives, so do we and so do those we love who have gone home before us. Make this more real, everyday, in our lives.
Friday, April 18, 2014
Worship
Again. Back and forth, back and forth. Do I spend time reading a great Christ lifting, spirit growing, life bettering book or do I spend some much needed down time playing a useless, mind numbing, non eternal value game on my phone? It goes like this: "I just heard that message from Joyce Meyer this morning on making God a priority, giving the best of our time to Him." Then it seesaws to: "I've been running since 8 am this morning and it's my break time and boy do I need some nothingness. But then it really would help if I spent time with God in prayer for a few minutes, surely I can give Him that. But I deserve some free, non thinking, non anything time...." Around and around it goes in my head. Welcome to a little trip inside Madeline's mind...sorry, I know it's a scary place. LOL
This was how I spent the first few minutes of my break on Thursday night. Well, I did that compromise thing...I put on a Christian radio station intending to listen to uplifting spiritual music while I played my not so spiritual game. But God......
But God had a different plan. He just threw out there song after song of wonderful worshipful music that I couldn't help but listen to and respond in praise to Him. All of a sudden I just felt like doing nothing else but worshiping Him. How is that for a powerful God visit. It was so enjoyable.
When I think about this, I am so humbled. Imagine, God really wanted to spend time with me. Me!!! So He orchestrated the circumstances and gave me just what I needed to focus on Him and have a sweet, refreshing, enjoyable experience in His presence. He knows just where to meet His children when we are waivering in our persistence and commitment. Thank You Lord.
I know that I can have and do need down time, but I also know that spending time with the Lord, especially on my breaks at works will keep me focusing on Him, helping me to grow more and more Christ-like. I want to be a good witness for Him, and since that is such a struggle for me, especially at work, I really want to be committed to taking that time to linger in His presence, be filled with His Spirit and power. Help me to make this my priority Lord.
Again. Back and forth, back and forth. Do I spend time reading a great Christ lifting, spirit growing, life bettering book or do I spend some much needed down time playing a useless, mind numbing, non eternal value game on my phone? It goes like this: "I just heard that message from Joyce Meyer this morning on making God a priority, giving the best of our time to Him." Then it seesaws to: "I've been running since 8 am this morning and it's my break time and boy do I need some nothingness. But then it really would help if I spent time with God in prayer for a few minutes, surely I can give Him that. But I deserve some free, non thinking, non anything time...." Around and around it goes in my head. Welcome to a little trip inside Madeline's mind...sorry, I know it's a scary place. LOL
This was how I spent the first few minutes of my break on Thursday night. Well, I did that compromise thing...I put on a Christian radio station intending to listen to uplifting spiritual music while I played my not so spiritual game. But God......
But God had a different plan. He just threw out there song after song of wonderful worshipful music that I couldn't help but listen to and respond in praise to Him. All of a sudden I just felt like doing nothing else but worshiping Him. How is that for a powerful God visit. It was so enjoyable.
When I think about this, I am so humbled. Imagine, God really wanted to spend time with me. Me!!! So He orchestrated the circumstances and gave me just what I needed to focus on Him and have a sweet, refreshing, enjoyable experience in His presence. He knows just where to meet His children when we are waivering in our persistence and commitment. Thank You Lord.
I know that I can have and do need down time, but I also know that spending time with the Lord, especially on my breaks at works will keep me focusing on Him, helping me to grow more and more Christ-like. I want to be a good witness for Him, and since that is such a struggle for me, especially at work, I really want to be committed to taking that time to linger in His presence, be filled with His Spirit and power. Help me to make this my priority Lord.
Thursday, April 17, 2014
Unbelief.
The beginning of this week, for whatever reason I was feeling very agitated. It was like all this anger was boiling up inside me and I had know idea where it was coming from. Every little thing was playing on my very last nerve. Like nails on a chalk board I felt every little thing drove me crazy. Work of course was the worst. That place can get to you even on a good day !! Thankfully I did not slap anyone nor run them over with my riding jack!! Yaaay me (and Yaaay God for holding me in check, LOL)
A dear sister in the Lord gave me a book "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp. And what a treasure-full little book it's turning out to be. And I am only on the start of it !!
This book endeavors to get the reader thinking about all the things that are blessings and to "dare to live fully right where you are", by living a life of radical gratitude. As I was reading, the author described ingratitude as and "ugly and self-destructive habit." And that is an extremely apt description.
So I sat there, on my break, reading this book. My insides felt hard as stone. I couldn't feel the words of the book. All was hard and angry. I asked God what the heck was going on ?!?!?! And immediately the answer came...UNBELIEF. I had slipped back into my old familiar dwelling place of unbelief. The words in Hebrews comes to mind; "Today, if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts as you did in the rebellion." (chpt 3:15) My heart was becoming hard, ungratefulness was flourishing and anger was blooming because of unbelief.
What a powerful God visit. Correction so very needed! Repentance as vital to my spirit as water to my body. And so thankful for it. My soul quieted and peace invaded my heart. I have to be so very careful. Unbelief is so familiar and so comfortable a cage for me and I slip back behind the bars so very easily. I have to guard against it diligently as life's difficulties and disappointments (some in and some out of my control) come at me (like everyone) constantly.
Sometimes I feel like there is this wall inside my heart. It's like Jesus can't get behind this wall I have. I want very much for the wall to come down, but it lingers year after year. But in meditating on all this the Holy Spirit showed me that the wall is unbelief and the mortar between the bricks is ingratitude. Over the last couple years the wall has been crumbling. But I want it completely down and carted away!! And that is exactly what is going to happen. So here goes the sledgehammer of faith and thankfulness.
Lord, thank You so very much for correction. Thank You for bringing me back to faith in You. Keep my heart ever soft to Your touch.
The beginning of this week, for whatever reason I was feeling very agitated. It was like all this anger was boiling up inside me and I had know idea where it was coming from. Every little thing was playing on my very last nerve. Like nails on a chalk board I felt every little thing drove me crazy. Work of course was the worst. That place can get to you even on a good day !! Thankfully I did not slap anyone nor run them over with my riding jack!! Yaaay me (and Yaaay God for holding me in check, LOL)
A dear sister in the Lord gave me a book "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp. And what a treasure-full little book it's turning out to be. And I am only on the start of it !!
This book endeavors to get the reader thinking about all the things that are blessings and to "dare to live fully right where you are", by living a life of radical gratitude. As I was reading, the author described ingratitude as and "ugly and self-destructive habit." And that is an extremely apt description.
So I sat there, on my break, reading this book. My insides felt hard as stone. I couldn't feel the words of the book. All was hard and angry. I asked God what the heck was going on ?!?!?! And immediately the answer came...UNBELIEF. I had slipped back into my old familiar dwelling place of unbelief. The words in Hebrews comes to mind; "Today, if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts as you did in the rebellion." (chpt 3:15) My heart was becoming hard, ungratefulness was flourishing and anger was blooming because of unbelief.
What a powerful God visit. Correction so very needed! Repentance as vital to my spirit as water to my body. And so thankful for it. My soul quieted and peace invaded my heart. I have to be so very careful. Unbelief is so familiar and so comfortable a cage for me and I slip back behind the bars so very easily. I have to guard against it diligently as life's difficulties and disappointments (some in and some out of my control) come at me (like everyone) constantly.
Sometimes I feel like there is this wall inside my heart. It's like Jesus can't get behind this wall I have. I want very much for the wall to come down, but it lingers year after year. But in meditating on all this the Holy Spirit showed me that the wall is unbelief and the mortar between the bricks is ingratitude. Over the last couple years the wall has been crumbling. But I want it completely down and carted away!! And that is exactly what is going to happen. So here goes the sledgehammer of faith and thankfulness.
Lord, thank You so very much for correction. Thank You for bringing me back to faith in You. Keep my heart ever soft to Your touch.
Tuesday, April 15, 2014
Little visits
Saturday and Sunday. Busy, chores, errands, running here, doing this, fixing that....all day long. You know those days. We all have them. Each time I got back into my car after yet another stop I turned on the radio. I have 2 Christian stations that I love to listen to. It was then I realized, as yet another song that reached my heart was playing, each time I listened to the radio was a little God visit. I just never thought of it that way.
I turn on the radio it focuses me to the Lord, and we visit. I pick up a short reading while waiting for something to print on my computer, and we visit. I stop for a moment to pray, another visit. How many visits can you think of in your day?
It really never hit me in this way, but I am so glad I did. Lord, thank you for opening my eyes to all those little visits we have each and every day. Help us all to be more aware.
Saturday and Sunday. Busy, chores, errands, running here, doing this, fixing that....all day long. You know those days. We all have them. Each time I got back into my car after yet another stop I turned on the radio. I have 2 Christian stations that I love to listen to. It was then I realized, as yet another song that reached my heart was playing, each time I listened to the radio was a little God visit. I just never thought of it that way.
I turn on the radio it focuses me to the Lord, and we visit. I pick up a short reading while waiting for something to print on my computer, and we visit. I stop for a moment to pray, another visit. How many visits can you think of in your day?
It really never hit me in this way, but I am so glad I did. Lord, thank you for opening my eyes to all those little visits we have each and every day. Help us all to be more aware.
Thursday, April 10, 2014
Mom's Writings on Anger
Provoke, outburst, exasperate, vex, repeated irritation, agitated condition, become heated (hot under the collar)
Think before you speak
Ask God how to answer
Guard your thoughts, words
Don't jump to conclusions
See through God's eyes
Wait to hear from God
Proverbs 18:13 He who answers before listening---that is his folly and his shame
Phillipans 1:27 Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. Then, whether I come and see you or only hear about you in my absence, I will know that you stand firm in one spirit, contending as one man for the faith of the gospel
Great advice from Mom. How powerful a witness to the world if when people and circumstances were provoking me I could run through those steps in my head and then act and speak in a manner worthy of the Gospel of Christ instead of shooting from the hip and acting out of wounded emotions or pride.
Mom went on with the anger theme for a few entries (at least I think they are separate entries, I could be wrong--it does happen on occasion, albeit infrequently LOL)
Anger Management was the next title.
Daniel 3:19 Then Nebuchadnezzar was furious with Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, and his attitude toward them changed. He ordered the furnace heated seven times hotter than usual
King Nebuchadnezzar demanded all to bow down to the image he built and when he didn't "get his way", he was furious.
Daniel 3:12 But there are some Jews whom you have set over the affairs of the province of Babylon--Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego--who pay no attention to you, O king. They neither serve your gods nor worship the image of gold you have set up.
Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego refused and caused Nebuchanezzar to lash out at them and thus they were put into the burning fiery furnace. (see v 20)
v20 and commanded some of the strongest soldiers in his army to tie up Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego and throw them into the blazing furnace.
We all struggle with anger, but anger is not always wrong. Ephesians 4:26 Be angry and do not sin.
Injustice in the world is certainly a right time to be angry.
Self-interest and pride, temper all are certainly wrong.
Phil 2:3 Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit but in lowliness (in humble attitude) of mind, let each esteem others better than himself.
When a person's temper gets the best of him, it often reveals the worst in him.
Holy Spirit of God, change me, put a new desire in my heart.
I have to chime in here. I was so convicted when I read the verse and the thought it evoked in Mom, in Daniel 3:19. How often do I act just like Nebuchanezzar? Something isn't done to my exacting desire and I get frustrated and angry. I complain and criticize. I engage my pride and my tongue and forsake compassion and mercy, acting much the spoiled brat that Nebuchanezzar reflected. I have to echo my Mom's prayer, that the Holy Spirit put a new desire in my heart, one that acts out of the humble attitude spoken of in Philippians.
My struggle with all this comes in this: I sometimes wonder if there is a line...how much are we supposed to let people "get away" with. Are we ever to stick up for ourselves? Does it matter if I have to clean up after someone else at work? Even if it's everyday? Whether it's done on purpose or not? I don't have the answers here. I am still trying to figure it out. Perhaps it is not so much as not saying something when people continually do something that makes your day more difficult, but how we say it and handle it that matters. Perhaps just stating that we have a need for them to help in a certain way would be better than getting angry over their seemingly uncaring disregard for others. Or I could be wrong (oh no! Not again!! I can't admit this twice in one entry!!). Maybe the better witness is to just take care of the mess or problem, and do it with a good attitude. Maybe it's situation based. I look at Jesus and Paul and don't ever see them acting out of any kind of self interest, only becoming provoked and impassioned when the insult or damage was to God or others. Still don't have the answer here...please pray that God leads me in His way and only to His honor.
Lord, thank you for teaching me about anger and convicting me about my pride. I know I have a long way to go in this area, but I also know that You are at work always within me to change my heart and life to reflect Your perfect Son. Lord, bring these teachings to mind today, and everyday. Let me think before I speak, check in with you before I react. Let me take every thought captive so I don't entertain negativity and critical emotions towards others, or even myself. Thank You.
Provoke, outburst, exasperate, vex, repeated irritation, agitated condition, become heated (hot under the collar)
Think before you speak
Ask God how to answer
Guard your thoughts, words
Don't jump to conclusions
See through God's eyes
Wait to hear from God
Proverbs 18:13 He who answers before listening---that is his folly and his shame
Phillipans 1:27 Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. Then, whether I come and see you or only hear about you in my absence, I will know that you stand firm in one spirit, contending as one man for the faith of the gospel
Great advice from Mom. How powerful a witness to the world if when people and circumstances were provoking me I could run through those steps in my head and then act and speak in a manner worthy of the Gospel of Christ instead of shooting from the hip and acting out of wounded emotions or pride.
Mom went on with the anger theme for a few entries (at least I think they are separate entries, I could be wrong--it does happen on occasion, albeit infrequently LOL)
Anger Management was the next title.
Daniel 3:19 Then Nebuchadnezzar was furious with Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, and his attitude toward them changed. He ordered the furnace heated seven times hotter than usual
King Nebuchadnezzar demanded all to bow down to the image he built and when he didn't "get his way", he was furious.
Daniel 3:12 But there are some Jews whom you have set over the affairs of the province of Babylon--Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego--who pay no attention to you, O king. They neither serve your gods nor worship the image of gold you have set up.
Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego refused and caused Nebuchanezzar to lash out at them and thus they were put into the burning fiery furnace. (see v 20)
v20 and commanded some of the strongest soldiers in his army to tie up Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego and throw them into the blazing furnace.
We all struggle with anger, but anger is not always wrong. Ephesians 4:26 Be angry and do not sin.
Injustice in the world is certainly a right time to be angry.
Self-interest and pride, temper all are certainly wrong.
Phil 2:3 Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit but in lowliness (in humble attitude) of mind, let each esteem others better than himself.
When a person's temper gets the best of him, it often reveals the worst in him.
Holy Spirit of God, change me, put a new desire in my heart.
I have to chime in here. I was so convicted when I read the verse and the thought it evoked in Mom, in Daniel 3:19. How often do I act just like Nebuchanezzar? Something isn't done to my exacting desire and I get frustrated and angry. I complain and criticize. I engage my pride and my tongue and forsake compassion and mercy, acting much the spoiled brat that Nebuchanezzar reflected. I have to echo my Mom's prayer, that the Holy Spirit put a new desire in my heart, one that acts out of the humble attitude spoken of in Philippians.
My struggle with all this comes in this: I sometimes wonder if there is a line...how much are we supposed to let people "get away" with. Are we ever to stick up for ourselves? Does it matter if I have to clean up after someone else at work? Even if it's everyday? Whether it's done on purpose or not? I don't have the answers here. I am still trying to figure it out. Perhaps it is not so much as not saying something when people continually do something that makes your day more difficult, but how we say it and handle it that matters. Perhaps just stating that we have a need for them to help in a certain way would be better than getting angry over their seemingly uncaring disregard for others. Or I could be wrong (oh no! Not again!! I can't admit this twice in one entry!!). Maybe the better witness is to just take care of the mess or problem, and do it with a good attitude. Maybe it's situation based. I look at Jesus and Paul and don't ever see them acting out of any kind of self interest, only becoming provoked and impassioned when the insult or damage was to God or others. Still don't have the answer here...please pray that God leads me in His way and only to His honor.
Lord, thank you for teaching me about anger and convicting me about my pride. I know I have a long way to go in this area, but I also know that You are at work always within me to change my heart and life to reflect Your perfect Son. Lord, bring these teachings to mind today, and everyday. Let me think before I speak, check in with you before I react. Let me take every thought captive so I don't entertain negativity and critical emotions towards others, or even myself. Thank You.
Sunday, April 6, 2014
Carry Me
Once again, God showed His hand of love. I am always amazed at the care He gives to His imperfect, sometimes unlovable children like myself. I am always grateful as well.
I was going to meet some dear friends for some much needed girl talk and the refreshment and strength that comes with being with sisters in the Lord. As I drove to the meeting spot, I was on the phone with my cousin, who just lost her Dad. We talked about how we count in our heads, the time that has passed since we lost our loved ones. I explained how God had given me the comfort of knowing that I was not getting further away from them, but closer to the day we would see them again. And as we were speaking of this, I passed by St. Johns HS and on their message sign was the words: WE WALK BY FAITH, NOT BY SIGHT. Remember from previous posts during the time of my Mom's passing how I always ask God to give me neon signs. Well, I guess this qualifies as one !! LOL Isn't God wonderful!! And comforting. No one can tell me He doesn't speak to His children today. He is very active and communicative if we just open our hearts and minds and eyes to listen. And believe. We must believe that He is talking to us, not just pass it off as coincidence or something like that.
Now, on to the second visit that day. I mentioned that I was on the way to meet up with some friends. And we had a great time of fellowship and chit chat. I am so blessed to have these ladies to confide in, find godly counsel, acceptance and understanding. Their listening ears and caring prayers are God given gifts. I was able to share some of my struggles and find the care and help I needed.
Well, God was listening as well. As I drove home He sent me the most fantastic, perfect for the moment song. It was called Carry Me by Josh Wilson. It spoke so exactly to how I was feeling, how we all feel sometimes. He truly stooped down to pick up His struggling daughter and carried her in His everlasting arms.
I love the way God uses friends, music, signs, so many many things to reach us, to take us out of our sinking sand and place us on to His solid ground. Thank You Lord.
Enjoy the song. Perhaps someone out there needs this as much as I do. If so, I am praying you will know His arms are around you, carrying you right now.
http://youtu.be/DkiYq7pJgHc
Once again, God showed His hand of love. I am always amazed at the care He gives to His imperfect, sometimes unlovable children like myself. I am always grateful as well.
I was going to meet some dear friends for some much needed girl talk and the refreshment and strength that comes with being with sisters in the Lord. As I drove to the meeting spot, I was on the phone with my cousin, who just lost her Dad. We talked about how we count in our heads, the time that has passed since we lost our loved ones. I explained how God had given me the comfort of knowing that I was not getting further away from them, but closer to the day we would see them again. And as we were speaking of this, I passed by St. Johns HS and on their message sign was the words: WE WALK BY FAITH, NOT BY SIGHT. Remember from previous posts during the time of my Mom's passing how I always ask God to give me neon signs. Well, I guess this qualifies as one !! LOL Isn't God wonderful!! And comforting. No one can tell me He doesn't speak to His children today. He is very active and communicative if we just open our hearts and minds and eyes to listen. And believe. We must believe that He is talking to us, not just pass it off as coincidence or something like that.
Now, on to the second visit that day. I mentioned that I was on the way to meet up with some friends. And we had a great time of fellowship and chit chat. I am so blessed to have these ladies to confide in, find godly counsel, acceptance and understanding. Their listening ears and caring prayers are God given gifts. I was able to share some of my struggles and find the care and help I needed.
Well, God was listening as well. As I drove home He sent me the most fantastic, perfect for the moment song. It was called Carry Me by Josh Wilson. It spoke so exactly to how I was feeling, how we all feel sometimes. He truly stooped down to pick up His struggling daughter and carried her in His everlasting arms.
I love the way God uses friends, music, signs, so many many things to reach us, to take us out of our sinking sand and place us on to His solid ground. Thank You Lord.
Enjoy the song. Perhaps someone out there needs this as much as I do. If so, I am praying you will know His arms are around you, carrying you right now.
http://youtu.be/DkiYq7pJgHc
Thursday, April 3, 2014
Right where I am
Another one of those days yesterday. There seem to be a lot of them lately. You know the kind, never enough hours, and too many things on the to do list. I felt like I couldn't even breath. I struggle with letting go of the mundane, the thousand things that need doing, but really shouldn't be causing me stress or worry.
Updating my Mom's apartment has become the never ending job. The whole place got a paint job...still not complete. The bedroom got new flooring and now the furniture from that room has spilled into other areas of the house, and the painting is still not complete. The leak around the air conditioner in my bedroom needed to be repaired, drywall replaced, sanding still needed, and of course, the painting is still not complete. A problem with the plumbing in the bathroom had to be fixed by going through the wall in the entry, which again, needed drywall replaced, and, yes you guessed it, the painting is still not complete!! LOL Add this to every day chores, errands, working.....and you get the picture, I am ready to jump the ship of life!!
Every area of my house seems to be in disarray. And I don't do well with that. I have this theory that those of us who are most chaotic on the inside need the most order on the outside. And I am definitely not living in order, so you can see where this would drive a personality like mine to the brink of melt down wanting only to run and hide under the covers.
But God is so good. I went into my office yesterday (you know, the one with the piles of paperwork needing sorting and filing), and there on the file cabinet was a book (God bless all these writers who help us so very, very much) called "The 21 Most Effective Prayers of the Bible." by Dave Early. For some reason (God???), I picked this book up and thumbed through it. Believe me, I did not have time to be sitting there looking through books! I was in the midst of an anxiety attack, debating about going to work, figuring how I could get the most accomplished in the smallest amount of time. My hand stopped on the chapter depicting the prayer of Nehemiah: Strengthen My Hands.
Neh 6:9 They were all trying to frighten us, thinking, "Their hands will get to weak for the work, and it will not be completed." But I prayed, "Now strengthen my hands."
Nehemiah was trying to accomplish the herculean task of rebuilding Jerusalem's walls. He had little time, little people, enemies round about and an impossible calling. So what did he do? (I probably would have started some sort of list) He went to God in prayer.
So that was it. I sat right there, right at that moment and took the time to pray, "Lord, strengthen my hands." I felt God lead me to this place, to this time for a visit with Him, just to give me a reminder of where my strength lies and to give me a moment to breath and rest in His presence. And I did. And I am so glad I did.
My insides got a little quieter, my spirit more peaceful and my mind more focused. I still had a ton of things I wanted checked off the to do list (no, none of the painting got done, LOL), but I knew that it was okay. God was meeting me, right where I was.
It is so important to look for those little visits throughout the day. I am so glad I didn't let this one slip by because I was too busy to take the time to listen as the Holy Spirit drew me to Himself. Lord, open my eyes to these times. I don't want to miss one visit with You !!
Another one of those days yesterday. There seem to be a lot of them lately. You know the kind, never enough hours, and too many things on the to do list. I felt like I couldn't even breath. I struggle with letting go of the mundane, the thousand things that need doing, but really shouldn't be causing me stress or worry.
Updating my Mom's apartment has become the never ending job. The whole place got a paint job...still not complete. The bedroom got new flooring and now the furniture from that room has spilled into other areas of the house, and the painting is still not complete. The leak around the air conditioner in my bedroom needed to be repaired, drywall replaced, sanding still needed, and of course, the painting is still not complete. A problem with the plumbing in the bathroom had to be fixed by going through the wall in the entry, which again, needed drywall replaced, and, yes you guessed it, the painting is still not complete!! LOL Add this to every day chores, errands, working.....and you get the picture, I am ready to jump the ship of life!!
Every area of my house seems to be in disarray. And I don't do well with that. I have this theory that those of us who are most chaotic on the inside need the most order on the outside. And I am definitely not living in order, so you can see where this would drive a personality like mine to the brink of melt down wanting only to run and hide under the covers.
But God is so good. I went into my office yesterday (you know, the one with the piles of paperwork needing sorting and filing), and there on the file cabinet was a book (God bless all these writers who help us so very, very much) called "The 21 Most Effective Prayers of the Bible." by Dave Early. For some reason (God???), I picked this book up and thumbed through it. Believe me, I did not have time to be sitting there looking through books! I was in the midst of an anxiety attack, debating about going to work, figuring how I could get the most accomplished in the smallest amount of time. My hand stopped on the chapter depicting the prayer of Nehemiah: Strengthen My Hands.
Neh 6:9 They were all trying to frighten us, thinking, "Their hands will get to weak for the work, and it will not be completed." But I prayed, "Now strengthen my hands."
Nehemiah was trying to accomplish the herculean task of rebuilding Jerusalem's walls. He had little time, little people, enemies round about and an impossible calling. So what did he do? (I probably would have started some sort of list) He went to God in prayer.
So that was it. I sat right there, right at that moment and took the time to pray, "Lord, strengthen my hands." I felt God lead me to this place, to this time for a visit with Him, just to give me a reminder of where my strength lies and to give me a moment to breath and rest in His presence. And I did. And I am so glad I did.
My insides got a little quieter, my spirit more peaceful and my mind more focused. I still had a ton of things I wanted checked off the to do list (no, none of the painting got done, LOL), but I knew that it was okay. God was meeting me, right where I was.
It is so important to look for those little visits throughout the day. I am so glad I didn't let this one slip by because I was too busy to take the time to listen as the Holy Spirit drew me to Himself. Lord, open my eyes to these times. I don't want to miss one visit with You !!
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