Ponderings

I had one of those paradigm shifts in my thinking and believing last week.  (Bear with me, I love that word and I don't have a lot of occasions to use it LOL)  A paradigm shift is a radical change in the way something or someone thinks or behaves.  My thinking took a big u-turn, even as my heart took a big hit to the ego as it were a few days ago.   Prayerfully, this will begin a big transformation in me that will ripple outwards to my walk and relationship with the Lord. 

In the study guide accompanying Joyce Meyer's book "20 Ways to Make Every Day Better," she asked a question regarding why we seek God.  Basically she asked if we seek Him only when we need help or do we seek Him so we might know Him.   Okay, so most of us might answer a little of both, sometimes depending on the day or season of life we are in.  Or in my case, I honestly answered I seek Him to know Him.  I was somewhat happy and proud of my answer.  But then I was nudged to go a bit deeper into my heart.  And sadly, I didn't like what I found. 

The Holy Spirit wanted me to get down to the motives behind the why.  Ugh.  Why do I seek to know Him intimately, why do I answer as such.  Is it because I desire to know the One who created me--and and everything?  The one who is everlasting--this amazing being unlike any other?  The One whose heart is shaped by love.  Do I look for the privilege of being in a deep, intimate, flourishing relationship with this being I call Father and Savior?  Do I understand the blessing of being called to know Him?  Or is the answer something a little less noble and glorious?  Do I answer that way because it's what expected in being a Christian? 

I had to face the truth that my desire to know God was fueled by my expectations of what a Christian is supposed to do and say, it was a surface only answer.  So I know there is something in my heart and thinking that needs fixing and changing.  And I think raising the question is a great beginning to growing and going deeper with the Lord.  The Holy Spirit really went deep with me here...and I love when He does this, even if it's hard to hear. 

So with the Holy Spirit's leading and guiding I am looking for ways to change this heart attitude.  The first thing I've  already been doing.  I was lead to pray for a softening of my heart.  I have a tendency to be hardhearted in a sense that the things of God have trouble penetrating more than head knowledge.  I believe this not only is a part of the answer to changing my motivations for seeking God, but it's also an answer to the prayer itself.  Secondly, I thinking meditating on God's character and Who He is, even if it only starts out as lists in my head will begin to stir something in my soul to reach out deeper.  This is exciting.   A new thing has begun!  Isaiah 43:19   For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.  

Lord, thank You for going deeper, for making my look harder.  Thank You for answered prayer and the guidance of the Holy Spirit.  Take us all into a deeper , intimate relationship with You because we are desperate for You.  You are our greatest need and our greatest gift.  There is none like You!  Help us to realize the privilege of knowing You.  In Jesus' Name, amen.

Answer the question:  Why do you seek God?