It's been one of those weeks. Everything that can go wrong does go wrong. Nothing major mind you, but just a series of little annoyances that seemed to pile up into a mountain. I'm not really sure whether or not the days were especially rife with little irritations or if it was just my perception, but the whole of it was that I was not exactly enjoying myself. I think I have more tiny cuts and nicks on my hands this week than I've had in a year. I've stubbed things, dropped things, spilled things, many, many things....Paper cuts, bad hair days, containers that wouldn't open with out a chainsaw or blowtorch or some kind of "garage" tool. Dropping pallets at work, (something I very rarely do...this time I did 2 in one night), oh and running over my toe in work....which wouldn't have been quite as bad had I taken time that day to change into my work shoes instead of a pair of nylon sneakers.....Tuesday night I had a speaking engagement for Voice of the Martyrs, I needed to leave work by 9 pm and I wanted time to change and clean up....of course everything came in at the last possible minute causing me to rush and hurry. And then of course, I realize I had forgotten to stop for gas and then I missed the turn off for the facility I was going to....on and on and on LOL. I laugh now, but I have not been filled with giggles this week. We've been doing that Genesis study and talking about how Jacob wrestled with God, asking for a blessing. I feel like I've been wrestling with God, begging for some relief from the crazy mountain of minutia, the avalanche of annoyances. Asking for His blessing and blaming Him at the same time. At one point I finally asked why He hated me so much...that's how sad and abandoned I felt.
So as I drove home from the Voice of the Martyrs engagement at 4 am the Lord finally came through in the form of songs....letting me know He was with me, for me and loving me....even as I struggled through the week and felt anything but cared for. My blessing came.
God is so good. So loving. So thoughtful. He is so cool and awesome. I had such a crummy week, such a struggling week, and I definitely was not the sweetest daughter He could have, and yet He still wraps me in His embrace and comfort. But I had to hang on through the week, through the rough patches. I wish I had done better in my attitude, but I am learning and growing and God is for me!
Thank You Lord, for being on our side. Help us to remember that, even when it seems everything, from big to little is against us. You are never against us. Thank You for reminding me of that again.
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