Questions, Questions

This Tuesday's post is more about questions for me.  One question that I haven't fully figured out the answer for ( or more accurately, how to put the answer into practice) and one that I don't like the answer to.

As I read the August 12 devotional from "Jesus Calling" the usual sadness rose up in my heart.  It starts off with, "Come to Me when you are weak and weary."  The devotional goes on to say that we are not to despise our weaknesses, but to let them draw us closer to Jesus.  It calls this weariness and struggle the "gift of fragility" designed to allow our spirit to blossom. Sarah cautions us not to compare ourselves to others who seem to have abundant energy and skip through life.

You can see, if you are like me, someone who pains to put one foot in front of the other some days, someone who seemingly battles the same sins and shortcomings day after day, year after year, how this would cause a hollow ache in one's heart.  I'm sorry, but I really would like to be one of those people who have boundless energy and an upbeat take on life and the daily grind.

So here were my questions:  Lord, how do I rejoice in weakness?  How do I allow tiredness, impatience, physical pain, proclivity towards certain sins to be areas you work in?  What does this look like when walked out?  Is knowing You're helping me put one foot in front of the other supposed to be enough?  (I don't feel like it is, by the way).  I hate feeling like I do.  I hate the exhaustion and the negativity I am prone to.  How does the weakness of my words and my addictive behaviors fit in here?

More questions than answers it seems.  I am being brutally honest here.  And I mean no disrespect to the Lord.  I will, by choice trust Him in all of this.  And I did get one answer, quietly spoken to my heart..."Focus on Jesus with me and enjoy that."  Perhaps, that is all the answer I need.  All the answer any of us need.  I am working on this.  And probably will be for the rest of my life.  That's okay though, heaven and my Saviors arms await me at the end of this journey.  That is enough.

On to the second question.  I heard this on the radio (not for the first time, but it rang new in my heart and head).  "If you were arrested for being a Christian, would there be enough evidence to convict you?  Ugh, probably not. Some days, maybe, some days not so much.  And I really, really, really don't like that answer!!  I hope your answer is better than mine!!

I am praying that this helps someone today who, like me, has a tough time putting one foot in front of the other.  I'm thinking the response I was given by our Father is the key to answering both questions. If we just keep the fact that Jesus is with us always, and enjoy that fellowship with Him, all answers will be revealed and fleshed out in our daily living.  One day, one foot step, one heartbeat at a time.

Lord, thank You.  You know the difficulties each of us face, the things we can't seem to overcome or get right, the feelings and physical problems that drag us down.  And yet you tell us to allow and even welcome these weaknesses.  Lord, help us to see as You do and rely on You for each breath, each second.  Let us embrace Your presence and companionship each day, and let it be our focus.  I know, I can't do it without You.  Nor would I want to.  My desire is to glorify You.  I want to see trials as blessings in disguise.

2 Corinthians 12:8-9  Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away.  Each time He said, "My gracious favor is all you need.  My power works best in your weakness."  So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may work through me.  

Romans 8:28  And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them.  

Matthew 11:28  Then Jesus said, "Come to Me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens and I will give you rest.