One of my prayers, one of the deepest desires of my heart is to feel and sense the Lord's presence with me every minute of every day, to not forget He is there. I pray that often...and all too often feel as if this longing goes unfulfilled. But the Lord impressed something on my heart a couple of days ago, spun something around so I could see it clearly. It's not that I don't sense Him with me, it's what I do with that connection, how I treat it that's the problem. I am aware of His presence, it's that I choose not to enjoy it because I am too busy murmuring against life.
The problem lies with the fact that my usual dialog with the Lord consists of complaining or venting my frustrations with various problems, struggles and annoyances throughout the day....no wonder I sense no peace and companionship! WOW moment!!
All this time, I've been reading devotionals and books that talk about gratitude being the open door to fellowship with the Lord. I've agreed and made a little progress, only to fall back to form, never realizing that this attitude was the filter through which I sense God with me. The peace and joy of His nearness alludes me because my side of the connection is covered in discord.
Complaining destroys so much. Even if it is only complaining to oneself or to the Lord. It is also displeasing to Him. I've lost so much by this loathsome habit.
Lord, thank You for correction. Please help me to lay down this proclivity for grumbling and murmuring. Help me open the floodgates of intimacy with You, nothing standing in the way of sweet fellowship together.
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