Jesus, He Loves Me

You know how you seem to be making progress, feel like you've grown past some of the immaturity and are finally getting this Christian walk thing down pat?  Well I was at that place, some ups and downs, but mostly feeling pretty secure in my relationship with the Lord.  It's been kind of bumpy lately, and though I've had some set backs I've been able to (with the Lord's help of course) pull myself up and keep going forward.

I've chronicled here about the financial hits that have been slamming into our pocketbooks and the fact that work is, as always, a testing ground for me.  Well for some reason as I drove to work this day I completely lost it.  All that security, the maturity I thought I was walking in fell by the wayside and I reverted to my old refrains of "it must be all my fault.  All of these troubles are punishment for the bad choices I've made.  I am destined to live this life under the curse of consequence."  It was really, really bad.

Okay.  So I made it through my day relatively sane and in one piece.  Woke up the next morning and started my devotions.  I "mistakenly" opened up to Zechariah 3:1-5  Then the angel showed me Jeshua the high priest standing before the angel of the Lord. The Accuser, Satan, was there at the angel’s right hand, making accusations against Jeshua. And the Lord said to Satan, “I, the Lord, reject your accusations, Satan. Yes, the Lord, who has chosen Jerusalem, rebukes you. This man is like a burning stick that has been snatched from the fire.”

Jeshua’s clothing was filthy as he stood there before the angel.  So the angel said to the others standing there, “Take off his filthy clothes.” And turning to Jeshua he said, “See, I have taken away your sins, and now I am giving you these fine new clothes.”

Then I said, “They should also place a clean turban on his head.” So they put a clean priestly turban on his head and dressed him in new clothes while the angel of the Lord stood by.

Acceptance.  Forgiveness.  Cleansing.  The Lord Himself rejects the accusations brought against me (by Satan or even myself).

About a week before all this,  I had driven to work and felt so strongly the sorrow Jesus had over my inability to grasp and accept His love for me.  I knew He so wanted me to understand that He sees me as perfect and acceptable just as I am.  I am not a failure in His eyes.  I had forgotten all about this encounter as I drove to work that day under a cloud of rejection and despair.

Lord, thank You.  I cannot tell You how much it means to me to have Your love and acceptance.  I am amazed that You care so much, love so much and repeat the same message of love again and again to someone so thick headed.