Forgiveness! We all want it. We receive it from our gracious Lord. And we all need it. Yet when it comes to giving it out......ugh! That is the hard part.
I can say it in my head, but getting my feelings to catch up with what I know is God's will and command is where the glitch happens for me. Even harder when there is the little voice in our head saying "But it wasn't my fault! They did______," fill in the blank.
Recently some one really got under my skin.. They pressed every button I have and just basically got me annoyed quite a few times in the span of a few hours. Now this is a nice person, a caring person....and maybe we were just too much a like in some ways, but I just found myself getting irritated with this person. And the Holy Spirit kept whispering in my ear, "Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone." Romans 12:18. Ugh!!! "I don't want tooooooo. It's not meeeeee!!! I'm right, they are wrong!!!!" Yup, those where my answers as I heard His voice. But, at least on the outside I tried to be obedient. I can't say I was totally successful, but mostly.
Now here we are two days later and I am still rehashing it in my mind. Over and over it comes into my head. I know this was such a minor situation, just a differing way of doing things. No wrongs against me were committed....but still the Holy Spirit told me to offer forgiveness in my heart. And, I am obeying. In a lot of ways there really isn't anything to forgive, but in obedience I follow His direction. Yet it still comes up to rehash. So I forgive again. I pray for them again. A friend once told me that if you want to forgive someone, pray for them. You can't stay mad at someone you are praying for. Good advice.
Eventually I know my feelings will catch up. But what happens when I see them again? I am praying by then the Lord will have changed my heart even more.
For my devotion this morning I went into my little "31 Days of Praise" book by Ruth Myers. Oh boy, did the Lord sure visit!
From today's reading:
"So I thank You for each disturbing or humbling situation in my life, for each breaking or cleansing process You are allowing, for each problem or hindrance, for each thing that triggers in me anxiety or anger or pain...."
I rejoice that You plan to enrich and beautify me through each problem, each conflict, each struggle...that through them You expose my weaknesses and needs, my hidden sins, my self centeredness (and especially my self-reliance and pride). Thank You that You use trials to humble me and perfect my faith and produce in me the quality of endurance...that they prepare the soil of my heart for the fresh new growth in godliness that You and I both long to see in me......"
This spoke directly into the heart of this situation in me. And I am so grateful for this new opportunity to die to self and live for the Lord. He is so amazing in tune with exactly what we need to hear at exactly the time we need to hear it.
"I thank You for the bitter things, they've been a friend to grace. They'vee driven me from paths of ease to storm the secret place." Florence White Willett.
How I need to storm the secret place. To "...come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most." Hebrews 4:16
The Lord provides everything we need to live for Him 2 Peter 1:3 By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence.
I am so grateful for the situations the Lord places in my life that bring the growth He desires. My prayer for me and all of us is that we allow Him to grow us. I pray that we cooperate and obey the leading of the Holy Spirit in all things, even when our feelings are screaming for release and relief.
Lord You are so good to us, so patient in teaching. We love You and desire to please You and to live as Your representatives here on earth. Help us to shine for You in all we do. We give You our hearts, minds, emotions and ask You to transform them into mirror images of Jesus for all to see. It's in Your precious Name we pray Lord. Amen.
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