The morning after I wrote last week's "Beautiful" entry, me and my coffee went to sit with the Lord for a while before starting the day. I try to remember to come before Him with thanksgiving in my heart and enter His gates with praise, because I have a habit of just jumping on the prayers to be said, study to be done or reading to read. I don't want to treat my time with the Lord as an item on my to do list, so my goal is to develop better "God time" habits. I want to grow my relationship with Him, sitting as friends sit, while still honoring Him as the Almighty Creator, Savior and King of the universe. Praise and thanksgiving first! That being said, I started thanking Him for the gift He had given me in the Chondra Pierce session from the ladies night. Right away, I started to feel the "you're not worthy, God can't possibly see you as beautiful....." thoughts start to arise. The battle is on!
The first thing I needed to do was to block these thoughts, these negative voices that start whispering the lies of Satan to me. Whether they are coming from demonic forces, or even my own inner voice that's been conditioned to repeat the lies, I don't know. I only know they are counter to what my Father has told me so they need not allowed to enter into my heart.
Secondly, I needed to unlock my faith. Sometimes I think faith is locked out of my heart. I can have faith for others. I can have faith for salvation. But I cannot take hold of the faith to believe the good things God says about me, or how He sees me, or that He wants to bless me. And that brings us to the wall.
The wall around my heart has been there a very, very long time. Sure I've made some progress over the years chipping away at it. I've also spent time rebuilding it. A wall made up of guilt, shame, failures, sins condemnation, low self-esteem, low esteem of God's ability to love and forgive. A long time ago a friend told me she "saw" Jesus outside this wall around my heart trying to get in. I can "see" Him there as well, trying to be fully enthroned upon my heart, while my wall blocks the way to this throne. So this wall needs to be torn down. Completely. Permanently. And that time is NOW!
What are you being told, telling yourself and believing about you? Where is your faith for you? What are your walls made of? These are all questions we need to ask ourselves if we are feeling stagnated in our walk and relationship with the Lord. I believe God gave this visit to me to share with others, because I know I am not alone in this. I also know I've been hearing a lot lately, the verse in Esther 4:14 For if you remain completely silent at this time, relief and deliverance will arise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father’s house will perish. Yet who knows whether you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this?” The Lord needs people who know who they are and are strong in their faith for the times we are in. As the days on earth grow darker, we need to be built up to be warriors in the kingdom of God. We can't be that if we are wallowing in guilt, shame, self-pity, sin....I pray for all of us that we will be built up in the power of the Lord to be His light in this dark world where we are pilgrims and sojourners. It's time for me, and for anyone who carriers negative baggage to leave that baggage behind and run the race God has set before us. We have work to do!!
Matthew 11:28-30 Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” Lay down the junk we carry and take up the yoke we share with Jesus.
Thank You Lord for this visit that reaffirms Your words to me. We all need to accept that You see us through eyes of love and mercy and relish that truth, revel in it and let it heal us of the past, of guilt, shame and condemnation so we can be strong in You and the power of Your might. Let us not dwell on our sinfulness, our mistakes or our past, but let us dwell on You, Your love, Your work of salvation, Your mercy, Your kindness.....Let us dwell on You! Be glorified! Teach us, lead us and equip us to be Your warriors and Your servants. Humble and strong. It's in Jesus' Name I pray. Amen.
Romans 8:1 So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.
2 Corinthians 10:4-5 For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, 5 casting down arguments casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ,
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