Usually by this time of the year I have the outline of what area the Lord wants to work on in me during the new year. That is not so this year. It's leaving me feeling a little adrift. I imagine all the changes in our lives these past few months is a factor. Newly retired status, new state, new church, new house. In New York I had a set life. I had a set ministry. I knew what I was supposed to be doing with my time outside of work and chores. This year I'm, not so much floundering...it doesn't feel like that, it's more like I'm waiting for orders. Like I'm in a holding pattern and awaiting landing instructions.
I don't think this is a bad place to be. After so many years of being a "human doing" I needed some rest. A rest from an over-scheduled, completely committed life. And I believe that is part of this season for me. But I also know that the Lord is preparing a place for me to work. I'm not sure what or where that is. Will I go back to working with animals? My heart is always with that. And I believe that God put that in me for His service. But is there more? What if I get it wrong? What if I fail? What if I let people down?
One phrase that sticks in my mind is "Be intentional." Whether it's in overcoming sin, adding good habits, or seeking ministry, God wants me to be intentional. I intentionally seek Him and seek to know His heart and will. For me, this will include prayer and fasting. I want to know where to go next. I want to be a blessing and be on fire for the Lord. I want to bring glory to God and be fruitful in the kingdom.
The verses the Lord gave me on my birthday apply here. Matthew 7:7-11 7 “Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened. 9 “You parents—if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? 10 Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! 11 So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him. Being serious about Kingdom work is not giving up.
My Father has a plan. My job is to keep seeking to know that plan, actively through pray and fasting and looking at the opportunities that are around me. (This may involve some research, it may involve asking questions, talking to my Pastor.....). Ultimately is keeping a soft, listening heart, trusting and knowing the Lord will make clear my steps, even if it's only one step at a time.
Lord, You have a plan for each of us. You have a place for each of us. Sometimes we can't see the way to go, but we trust You to show us and lead us. Give us listening and willing hearts. Let Your church be about Your business this coming new year. Convict our hearts, turn them fully to You and let our lives reflect Christ to those around us. The times are growing darker and no matter what our specific ministry is, pointing people to You is our first responsibility and Your command to us. Lead us in the way to go. Thank You that You desire to use us, to work through us. Lord, let our lives be fruitful this year. Let us see growth in the kingdom, let Your church return to holiness. Lord, help us to shake off the ties of the world, to unentangle ourselves from anything the dilutes Your love, holiness, and light shining in our lives. We are the salt of the earth. Help us to flavor the world around us with the Gospel. Set my heart on fire, set all our hearts of fire. We need to not hang onto our comfort, but instead pick up our crosses and follow You...not looking back. Help us to shake off complacency and lukewarm-edness. Your church has spent entirely too much time making friends with the world instead of making disciples as You command. Lord, let this be the year of repentance for us and a renewal of commitment to You. Show us Father. We commit ourselves to You. Be glorified. We are Your children. In Jesus' most holy and loving and powerful Name. Amen.
Repent, renew, listen, and go forward!
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