Dreams

Everyone is supposed to have dreams, right.  Aspirations, desire for the future, plans....Well for me that really is not something I am comfortable with.  I always think of myself as being "dreamless."  I mean, I figure what's the point.  I can't ever remember one really coming true.  And the reasons for that vary, but mostly I blame myself.  Whatever desires for the future I had when I was young fell by the wayside long ago, lost in the turns of life, living now it seems in regret and the need to get through the day.  Dreams of animals and art so long gone.  This does not mean to say that God isn't good and hasn't done good by me. And that I am not grateful for all His love, His care, and His blessing in my life.   And in reality I do have a wonderful place I get to work with cats.  I have to admit that in some small way that dream actually came true.  Hmmm, I guess I better think about that.  But by and large things have not turned out like I planned (I know that's true for many), so for me the word "dream" sense fear through my heart, and I shut down.

So when a dear friend gave me a Joyce Meyer devotional for my birthday and the very first one was on Dreams.....well I couldn't even read it.  I went straight for page 2!! LOL  But God was not to be denied!  He was going to get this dream thing across to me in spite of myself!

Fast forward to the next day....I picked up another devotional that I've fallen in love with...."Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young.  And yes, you guessed it......the day's passage was on dreams.  UGH!!!  Really Lord???  The first two sentences: "I am working on your behalf.  Bring Me all your concerns, including your dreams."  Oh my goodness.  I was stunned to say the least.  Does this mean Jesus wants me to have plans and hopes for the future?  Does He want me to have somewhere to go, a dream to pursue, to trust Him with?  It terrifies me.  Remember I said I blame myself for not realizing my younger self's ambitions?  Well it's the same here.  I am afraid if I look to the future with a desire, I will in the same way I have always not have the follow through.  Or barring that, life will happen to steal it away.

But I really feel the Lord is telling me to dream.  And then to bring it to Him.  I can't tell you how fearful I am at this.  The thoughts of past disappointment and present day regrets weigh me down and harden my heart to this process.  I think God is visiting here to let me know to open up.  And maybe He is doing that for you as well.  Open up our hearts to the dreams HE wants for us.  Dreams He wants to put inside us and work toward with us.

Something I was reminded of when I went back to the Joyce Meyer devotional book (and yes I read the first one on having a dream) is the verse Jeremiah 29:11: For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.  Good plans.  The Lord's plans. He has them, even when I don't, when I can't.

Thank You Lord for pursuing this with me.  For not letting me get away with having no dreams.  I know I am scared to death.  But You are with me. Immanuel. Help me to aspire, to have a place to go to.  A vision for the future that You put in my heart and that we work on together.  Where will we go.....